Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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