I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
