i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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