Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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