FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
