This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
