haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize