hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
