I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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