I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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