Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
is it fun? or sober?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
