love makes seman taste better
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
