normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
