This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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