If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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