i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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