yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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