You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize