No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize