Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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