Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
