:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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