also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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