you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
