The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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