How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
