my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
