Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
