Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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