he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
