yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i drank out of a bidet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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