You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
