i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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