either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
