idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
