oh god the rape fog is back!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
