Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
