Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
