"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize