I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
