I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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