he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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