i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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