doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
