I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
