You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
