She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
