I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize