do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
