No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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