Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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