There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
