This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
