you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
