i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
