This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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