every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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