it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
