Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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