I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am naked and annoyed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
