Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
